I'm a fraud--maybe

Thanks for all your input on choosing a project. The throwing them into a window fan suggestion was entertaining. Thanks GhostFolk (aka: Randy ) ;p

In the end, I decided to seek professional advice from my truly fabulous agent, who I trust implicitly.

While I pondered my problem (and your creative solutions) over the weekend, it occurred to me what the real source of all my angst was. Most of you who write can probably relate to this.

I wrote a book. I sent it to agents. Some really amazing agents wanted to represent THAT book. And my truly fabulous agent sold THAT book to my seriously cool editor, who loved THAT book.

THAT book.-->

I kind of felt like the all the stars had aligned and lightning struck, and my PowerBall numbers hit, and pigs flew, all at the same time with THAT book. It was like winning the lottery times ten. Like I got soooo super lucky and wrote something decent that got in front of the right people at the right time.

THAT book.

But the problem was, THAT book sold in a three-book deal. So I was supposed to be able to do THAT again. But I really wasn’t sure how I did it the first time. What was I going to do when everyone figured out how lucky I got with THAT book and that I, in fact, had no writing talent?

When I handed Original Sin (Personal Demons, book 2) off to my truly fabulous agent earlier this year, I was totally stressing, because she was going to know that I was a total fraud. And I was sure she was going to ask me who really wrote Personal Demons. (She was nice enough not to ask, but I’m sure she’s still wondering.) She helped me clean up Original Sin before I sent it off to my seriously cool editor last week, who DIDN’T HATE IT! *throws virtual confetti* I know she’s going to have a lengthy editorial letter for me, and I welcome it. She’s amazing at helping me make my book into the one I thought I wrote.

And, I’m starting to think that maybe I’m not a total fraud. Maybe…

But choosing a new project is hard for all those same reasons. I have three really cool stories that are dying to be told. That’s, like, nine characters in my head all talking at the same time (and that doesn’t even count Frannie, Luc and Gabe who are all still in there too). But I’m a little worried that, no matter what I write, if I can’t figure out how to make lightning hit and pigs fly again, it won’t matter. It’s a little bit nerve wracking.